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THE EDGE OF GROWTH. I don't know about you but I often do my best thinking in the quiet hours of the morning or when I'm doing something mindless like washing dishes, having a shower, or am out on a walk.    One of those times I was thinking about how uncomfortable and hard the new things I was working on felt. It was a real time of struggle. And then I remembered that new things are supposed to feel hard. (rocket science, I know, but the simplest things are also the easies

STANDARDS. I used to think that standards were the ceiling - what we're aiming for. I now realize they are actually the floor- what we allow for ourselves.   Related ideas often get confused as standards, but it's important to know the difference.   Values are core principles. Your why. Intentions are how you want to show up. Expectations are how you want other people to show up. Boundaries are what you choose to do when expectations aren't met. Goals are the targets yo

PRESSURE & GUILT.  If saying no makes you feel guilty - or if other people try to make you feel guilty when you do- you're not alone. But what can you do about it? A few things come to mind.   First, consider if you feel selfish . This is a tricky topic fraught with moral and emotional implications. It can be hard to find a balance between taking care of yourself and showing up for others, but it's important to remember that you can do both, even if there's no such thing as

Are you a person who defaults to thinking “what if” or “why not”? This is an important question because one is often rooted in caution and the other in confidence. Well isn’t caution important, you may ask? Yes it is, but consider this first: Both questions are based on assumptions about the future. The difference is which future does your brain default to: holding back in case of risk, difficulty, and fear; or leaning forward with curiosity, resilience, and possibility.  

VISIBILITY.  Part of being seen as having done the thing that's hard for you, is someone witnessing that it was hard for you. And I don't mean telling the story later, I mean allowing yourself to be visible through the struggle.    For me, that can feel pretty uncomfortable or even downright bad, but I also know this: Acknowledging the struggles on your journey and allowing other people to know about them is what makes you credible, relatable, a trusted resource, a leader. 

POSSIBILITY.  When is the last time you thought of possibility as a tool in your toolbox that can actively improve your life? As something you have influence over? As something you can create or find more of? (truly- if this is your normal way of thinking, I'd love to hear about it.)   Instinctively, we know what possibility is and what it feels like, but here are a few more ideas to consider.   Possibility is largely created by mindset, includes potential outcomes, and is

Last week I was listening to Orson Scott Card’s book,  Ender’s Game . If you’re not familiar, the briefest background is that Ender is essentially a child prodigy being trained to literally save the world.  In one scene a classmate says to him, “We’re all trying to decide if your scores… are a miracle or a mistake.” And Ender replies that they’re “a habit.”  This exchange got me thinking about my own results- the ones I’m proud of and the ones I’m not. It’s my experience that

Have you ever stood at the edge of the ocean, feet firmly on the sand until the next wave rushes over your feet and suddenly you're sunk down or off balance?  Sometimes it takes more than one wave but ultimately the footing beneath you has changed.  Sometimes you also get a big splash, whether you were expecting it or not! This week I got a text from a friend of twenty years saying they'd love to catch up and wanted to update me on some health news.  Pit in my stomach, I coul

Have you realized this lately?  You deserve for the big and small moments of your life to reflect the best of who you are.  (And I know it's possible.) Last week I ran into the store to get a few large storage bins. I was sure I could carry them out so I didn't take a cart. Turns out they were too bulky and heavy and since I didn't have time to walk all the way back to the front for a cart, I shrugged my shoulders and decided to pull them along behind me. I was laughing at my

How often do you pause to think about the values guiding your business and work life? Do you know what your core values are? And here’s the big question: are you communicating those values—to yourself, your clients, your team? Even if you don’t see yourself as a “leader,” I encourage you to think about the people and situations you influence every day. Leadership isn’t just about titles or positions, it’s about the impact you have in both big and small moments. If the word “l

If you're like me,  you really care about making the most of your life.  Or maybe you've realized it's time get serious about refocusing on what you truly care about, finding a way to make real progress on what matters most. One of my favorite reminders of this is the quote:  "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives." Hearing that might have a twofold effect:  perhaps making us feel badly about how we spend our time but thankfully it can also have a positi