Candace Horne

THE EDGE OF GROWTH. I don't know about you but I often do my best thinking in the quiet hours of the morning or when I'm doing something mindless like washing dishes, having a shower, or am out on a walk. One of those times I was thinking about how uncomfortable and hard the new things I was working on felt. It was a real time of struggle. And then I remembered that new things are supposed to feel hard. (rocket science, I know, but the simplest things are also the easiest to forget.) ...

STANDARDS. I used to think that standards were the ceiling - what we're aiming for. I now realize they are actually the floor- what we allow for ourselves. Related ideas often get confused as standards, but it's important to know the difference. Values are core principles. Your why. Intentions are how you want to show up. Expectations are how you want other people to show up. Boundaries are what you choose to do when expectations aren't met. Goals are the targets you set as a future...

PRESSURE & GUILT. If saying no makes you feel guilty - or if other people try to make you feel guilty when you do- you're not alone. But what can you do about it? A few things come to mind. First, consider if you feel selfish . This is a tricky topic fraught with moral and emotional implications. It can be hard to find a balance between taking care of yourself and showing up for others, but it's important to remember that you can do both, even if there's no such thing as perfectly. ...