re: A MIRACLE, A MISTAKE, OR SOMETHING ELSE

Last week I was listening to Orson Scott Card’s book, Ender’s Game. If you’re not familiar, the briefest background is that Ender is essentially a child prodigy being trained to literally save the world. In one scene a classmate says to him, “We’re all trying to decide if your scores… are a miracle or a mistake.” And Ender replies that they’re “a habit.” This exchange got me thinking about my own results- the ones I’m proud of and the ones I’m not.

It’s my experience that we often don’t give ourselves enough credit for the good things that happen in our lives. Too often we might believe that something we were working for that went well actually was a miracle or a mistake. Or we know we worked hard but we might not give credit to the plan we stuck with that got us there. Do you notice this, too? Maybe it’s the deal that finally closed, the relationship that’s going well, or even the financial goal you finally hit. 

These mindsets don’t serve us, even if there were elements of “luck” involved because when we believe our success is just a miracle, we feel powerless to recreate it. But when we see it as the result of our intentional efforts and habits, we reclaim our agency. (And can do it again!)

Do you sometimes think your good results are due to miracles or mistakes? Sometimes I do but the truth is, even if some element of mistake or miracle was present, we DO largely influence the outcomes in our lives and the best chance for repeatable, sustainable success really comes from our habits. (And isn’t this what we all want? Good outcomes that we have some control over without the process ttaking over our lives?)

REFLECTION QUESTIONS

1. When you think about your own success, do you ever question if it was a fluke? What would change if you believed it was the result of your habits and effort?

2. What results do you see in someone else’s life that you think “they’re got lucky” or “that’s not going to happen for me?”  Taking the emotion out of it, what habits do you think might have helped those people achieve what they have?

3. What habits have you built that you’re proud of? How have they contributed to your progress?

4. If someone looked at your results, what might they say is your ‘miracle’? What’s the habit and the rest of the story behind it?

5. What’s one area of your life where you feel inconsistent? What habit could you create to bring more stability and confidence there?

   
   

TAKE ACTION: Reclaim Your Win Framework 

*Even if you feel uncertain or dismissive about this, just try it out.

1. Name the Win: What good result in your life feels like luck or a mistake? If you truly can’t think of one that’s okay- name a specific win in your life that you’re proud of.

2. Challenge the Narrative: Why do you think this was a mistake or just luck?  (Let’s uncover any limiting beliefs holding you here.) If you thought of a win that you already own- why might someone else looking at you think it was luck or privilege?

3. Break It Down: List out the actions YOU took that contributed to your result! What skills, habits, and decisions played a role?  (Give yourself credit for the intention and plan.)

4. Identify the Patterns: Is there more to this, even if it felt like a fluke? Have you ever done something similar before? Get clear and name what this might say about your abilities or strengths! 

5. Feel the Win: Even if it’s only for a few minutes, allow yourself to acknowledge and feel this win! How does it feel to know you made this happen? (Google “positive emotion words” to get detailed.)  What would it mean today if you fully embraced this as part of who you are. BONUS: If you were writing a chapter in your book, what would you say about yourself now?

   
   

I'm wishing you a week of wins that you work for!

We're in this together,

Your Coach Candace

P.S. This week, Thursday May 8, our Group Coaching topic is Productivity. Could you use some help in this area? Let me know if you'd like to join the call to check it out and I'll send you the Zoom link. The time options are 9amPT/12noonET  or 4pmPT/7pmET. I hope one of them works for you!

I offer consults, 1:1 highly transformative packages, and weekly group coaching on Thursdays.  My DM's and inbox are always open, so let's chat.  I'd love to send you a link to our group coaching calls so you can hop on to check it out for yourself. Just let me know if you'd like to and I'll send it right over.